The Hazel Eyes Tour

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 01:06:59 GMT

Hello Friends and Family,

Once again I am fighting for a cause,okay, maybe not "fighting" but you know what I mean!! The Heart Walk fundraiser was a success. I didn't quite meet my $500. goal but I came close, and considering the state of the economy, I am very very thankful and appreciative for the donations I did raise.

My next cause is the Suicide Prevention and Awareness walk held at the Hanover YMCA on Sunday October 11th. This walk was a tremendous effort to put together, and I still have LOTS to do. I hope to have this become a yearly event for our little town. When I worked at the Wellness Center on York Street, our staff took turns at providing monthly community programs. My first was drug abuse, my second was to be a program on suicide. Part of my research and preparations for that program allowed me to attend a meeting, a groupd effort of area school guidance counselors, area police forces, a coroner and more. I was amazed at the amount of attempted suicides occurred in our area middle and high schools. Not to mention the suicides that actually did happen. It saddened me, and stabbed at my heart with our loss of Kevin and Joey.

When my now ex-husband, Kelly and I moved to MD I had heard about a walk for suicide prevention and awareness, I thought it was a local event and was never successful at finding it again. When I moved back home, Nicole and I decided if we couldn't find the walk and participate, we'd create our own. well, I found out of the Darkness and the plans QUICKLY moved along.....quicker than I could have imagined really!

Now, here it is, only 2 short weeks before the event. I have run into many road blocks along the way, unfortunately most of them being people offering to take on a project and then back out. However difficult that was I am motivated enough to see this through and work my butt off getting it there.

So let me give you a little insight to the organization. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reach out to people with mood disorders and those impacted by suicide. Since 1987, AFSP has supported research that is improving our understanding of suicide and its prevention. Since 2000, AFSP has invested over $6.6 million in new studies, as well as provided education and information through public workshops, trainings, videos, publication and public service announcements. Half the monies raised goes back to AFSP and the other half stays local....to our schools, to educate students, bus drivers, cafeteria workers, teachers, etc, raising awareness and prevention for our students. Feel free to check out the website at www.outofthedarkness.com

To view our walk page, please log onto the Out of the Darkness website, click on Find and Event Near You, type in Pennsylvania, click on the Hanover Walk on Oct. 11th. You can join my team "In Memory of Kevin and Joe", create your own team, or make a donation. All are invited to the walk, and I could certainly use volunteers the day of the walk. Please join me for this historic first time walk in our area for this organization. I have no idea what the turnout will be but however small it is, I'm continuing on with this event!

Again, thank you all for your continued support for my endeavors and hardships and I truly hope you can join me! Oh, and please feel free to forward this email to any of your friends that may be interested in donating or joining in the walk, or maybe you know of someone that has also been touched by suicide.

Thank you!!

Sunday's ...

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 17:52:36 GMT

…A day to reflect on the past week, such as the obstacles that we have overcome that make us feel accomplished, even to those that stood in our way stubbornly not letting us win~to those obstacles we must plan how to fight them better this week. Sundays are also a day to reflect on what we are thankful for and how blessed we are in our lives.

So for my week I plan to conquer my Six Situations…

1. Do my very BEST not to let the human race spoil my contentment in life.
2. I don’t know how I will handle the stress at work with the constant demands that are put upon me, but I will try to find a way….
3. I will finish the story of my move home this week, and begin plans to get it out there!
4. I WILL do my yoga and meditation every morning no matter how tired or how much I ache.
5. My cookbook, work on creating new recipes, will try them on some friends Friday night!

And last but not least…

6. Continue to raise money for my 2 upcoming walks, the American Heart Association Heart Walk and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness walk.

Cheers!

Writer's Block: Proven by Science

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 00:55:50 GMT

Sure, maybe, who knows....but there is one terrific Scientist that can answer that!

Writer's Block: Don't You Forget about Me

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 01:48:24 GMT

They didnt make teen movies when I was a teen.....

Organizing a Community Suicide Awareness Walk

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 02:29:56 GMT

I’ve only begun to put this walk together, and I don’t have much time. I have a date at the YM reserved for October 11th, it’s a Sunday. Was hoping for a Saturday but soccer games beat me to it!!

I am searching out agencies that might be interested in setting up a booth to provide phone numbers and other info for those that may be considering suicide or for those that have family/friends considering it. It’s also to help us figure out how to approach the subject should we encounter a loved one that is suffering. I am also hoping to diminish the stereotype of “chicken shits” or other cruel names associated with victims. Unless you have either been in those shoes or have had a family member commit suicide, you cannot possibly understand the pain that the victim suffers. Yes it is a selfish act, but their inner pain is so great that they see no way out. Ending the pain to them is ending their life. To them, that IS the only way out.

Anyway, back to my progress on this walk. I only have a small committee, myself and my friend Janice. I’d like to have at least 2 more dedicated individuals. I need to work on getting this walk advertised, gathering walkers and possibly teams other than my own team, I need to raise money, I’ll need volunteers to help the day of the walk, I need a team name, T-shirts, flyers and posters need to be ordered, I need to get sponsors for free snacks and bottled water for the walkers and possibly a stand to sell food, and the worse is getting it approved before the Hanover Boro Council, which I only found out this week that I need to do. And I need to map out a 2-3 mile walk around the YM.

So, for now I need to RECRUIT!!! I need walkers and if you can’t walk I will need sponsors (money donations). So please help if you can, or get someone else that you know that might be interested or has also shared an experience of losing a loved one to suicide. Put the word out for me. This walk means a lot to me!
Cheers!

Weekend Loves

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 03:22:41 GMT

I absolutely LOVE the weekend. I can stay up late, sleep late, take naps, totally throw off my sleep/wake pattern. I can drink coffee in my home instead of my office, I can google without the worry of getting caught at work *giggling*, I can watch movies and stay in or I can run to any store I love *look out Target and TJ Maxx*. I will pull out all my writing projects and pick which one speaks to me at that moment and tweek it a little more, I can finish the art project I started. Oh and my fav is getting my massage. I will make a promise to myself to finally exercise more faithfully but then I will find my nose deep in a book. Then there are the "must do" things like laundry, bills and cleaning. But most importantly, I just get to be home and be me! Yep I LOVE my weekends. They are just much too short!!
Cheers!

Writer's Block: Investigations of a Female Nature

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:32:52 GMT

that is so easy, from my much younger days...Nancy Drew!!!

A special friendship

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 02:16:34 GMT

Hmm where to begin....
I met a man many years ago. An elderly man that volunteered at the hospital. At the time I worked in Cardiac. We quickly became friends as he transported patients in my unit. His wife also volunteered, she passed away shortly after I started at the hospital. I then transferred to the Volunteer Department and our friendship blossomed. We had many chats on everything you could imagine. He was a very prominent man in the community and church. He was a WWII veteran and often spoke of his time overseas. He was a pilot and was shot down. He was rescued and survived under the attentive care of the village women and children. He and his lovely wife visited the village often through the years and when she passed he returned to the village. They had prepared a memorial for her. I think is stands beside the memorial they have for his heroism. I loved hearing his stories. Especially the war stories, some of them cheerful and comical, he rarely spoke of the unkind acts. Mostly of his and his buddies survival.

Then I moved away for four years, we stayed in touch via email. When I returned home for weekend family time I always stopped at the hospital. We'd hug and chat some more. Now, I've moved back home, gave up the boat life when a divorce became part of my life. After a year in a different job at the hospital, my old job became available, and mine once again. We picked up right where we left off. I remember my first day back in the volunteer office, an incredible bear hug I received. His age has caught up with him, he no longer transported but instead dispatched the transports. That kept in at a desk but still in a very busy area of the hospital.

A few months ago he began having some health issue's. Then a dreaded phone call from his daughter, he was given 2-4 weeks due to kidney failure. He seemed to not be ready yet so his family moved him to a very nice place where he gets the best care. Hospice visits too. My boss and I went to see him tonight. Surprisingly he looks wonderful. He looked up and saw us at the door, the biggest smile I have ever seen filled his beautiful face and once again, another bear hug. He is still just as sharp as ever. He was also going on a boat ride at our lake tomorrow. He seemed a little nervous but i know he'll gather his strength and have a good time. And, he told me another story. He bought his wife a diamond tennis bracelet, a diamond for every year of their marriage. Over the years he has taken a diamond and made a piece of jewelry for his family. Earrings for his daughters, grand-daughters, and great grand-daughters. The men of the family get a diamond tie clip. I wanted to cry right then and there from the beauty of the story but I couldn't. The love and joy from him consumed me.

My boss made a good point tonight. He has touched so many lives, has made so many friendships over the years, it's just not time yet. There are still good-byes to made. Friends to see one more time. He knows his time is coming and he has accepted it with the courage and faith that I knew he would. A beautiful man. I had to share, I am blessed to have had his friendship and share in his life. I hope you all have met someone like this.

Jack's Blog

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 02:03:35 GMT

I promised Jack, my little bichon-poo, that he could have the computer to share his blog with you.

Here's Jack:

Hi! My mom took me to the vet tonight. I wasnt too happy about the whole thing, especially since the doc stuck a thermometer (mom did a spell check for me) up my butt, AND I got stuck with 2 needles, she checked ears, my joints and my teeth which I really didnt like either. I weigh 14 pounds and the doc said I will live to be a very old doggie. I figured I made out better than the shepard in the exam room next to me so I cant really complain too much, we had to wait while he got euthanized (Mom did spell check again, isnt she great). Mom got really sad for the family.

The last time I went to the vet, they cleaned my teeth. I was asleep for that and they're really lookin good and my breath is much better, but they also removed a wierd little toe. I woke up with one of the e-collars (mom laughed when she saw me) and a big blue bandage. Mom had to take that off the next day and put on a baby bootie, didnt like that either. I mean c'mon how can a dude look good with a baby bootie! So, Mom felt bad for me and took off the collar! WOOHOO! Thank you momma!! When Mom wasnt looking, I pulled off the bootie and ate 2 stitches. Then she taped the bootie on, that worked for about a day and I ripped that off and ate the last 2 stitches.

Anyway, I gotta go watch what Mom's doing now. She's on the floor in front of the fridge cussing. There was water on the floor this morning but I promised her that it wasnt me!!!! I'm pretty sure she believes me. These cute brown puppy eyes really do work! Oh wait now she's over on the rug doing her exercises! This is too much fun, I gotta go so I can pounce on her!! Gibson and I love it when she's on the floor!!!

Puppy kisses to all!

Just another story

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:46:10 GMT

She did it. She barely escaped with her life. Truth be told, she almost didn’t make it out alive. He threatened to take that from her too. That’s all she had left of herself. Just her life. Her breath. Her heartbeat. Her smile. He didn’t want anyone else to share in those things. If he couldn’t have her, no one would. He almost took her life. A guardian angel was with her that dreadful night. She knew it. She wasn’t alone. Maybe the family member that was taken from her? She had to have had protection. She wasn’t that strong. He was crazed. She was scared. But she lived. However you want to look at it, she survived. She starts over. She’s a survivor. She begins another long journey. A new journey. A better journey. On her own. With her small kids. She works. She raises the kids. She has a home. She makes it a home. She is finally happy. She does not miss him. She’s glad to be away from him. It’s not always easy being on her own. But she can. And she does. He still creates trouble. He plays games. But he cannot play her. She’s strong now. She falls in love again. She marries. Many years pass. People change. Family grows. New friends. And the tragedy strikes again. Another family member taken away. She collapses to the floor in shock. Her son consoles her. Picks her up. Holds her. She cries. She is thankful for her grown son. He is strong. He is good. He provides comfort. He continues to hold her. He tells her it will be okay. They gather again. They cry again. They pray again. Hug again. And they bury again. Another loved one gone tragically. All deaths are tragic. All deaths contain pain. She wants to know why this happened. She wants to see where. She wants to know how. She doesn’t understand. No one understands. Horrific details of death choke her. Chokes her family. They can’t breathe. They hurt. Hate brews. Sadness and grief shoot through them. They are empty. Empty shells. Family and friends surround. And love eventually wins. Love consumes. They still hurt. But they survive. They have too. She survives. She is fragile but strong. She survived before. She will again.

Dog Food

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 00:29:20 GMT

Been thinking of making Jack home cooked dog food. Anyone know of a "Dog food cookbook"?
When I lived on a boat, my liveaboard neighbor made her won. Jack went bonkers when he could smell it! He'd run down the dock and sit on the finger-pier by her boat until she gave him some!

Cheers!

Pet Cemetry

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 02:24:06 GMT

A thought dawned on me a few nights ago as I lay in bed with Jack and Gibs (dog & cat) watching them sleep snuggled against me. My mind drifted to my parents house and all the beloved pets buried there, from the time I was a small child all the way to my adulthood. My childhood pets, my kids 2 bunnies (from my single parent days) and a dog I had when I was first married. Dad always buried the pets tenderly with love and kindness, they were part of the family.

I remember a German Shepard my Dad had when I was a teenager. She was an amazing dog. One day Dad crossed our busy street after making her sit and telling her to stay. This one time she did not listen. She ran after Dad and was hit by a car, a speeding car. For some reason I remember him telling someone that her collar hooked on the car and it drug her several yards before it came loose. The driver never stopped, he had to know. She didn’t die instantly. We got her to the vet and he put her down while Dad held her. The strongest memory I have is Dad standing over her freshly dug grave sobbing. He buried her by a small tree in the yard. Needless to say the tree is huge now.

Good Lord if the new owners ever dig up the yard they will find many assorted skeletons buried there. Wonder if I should have put a clause in the contract stating that they cannot disturb the graves?!?!

Writer's Block: Dream Job

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 01:12:07 GMT

Beachbum, retired, published author...

Does anybody know...

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:41:08 GMT

about "Writing for Children and Teenagers"??? A friend of mine saw an article in a womens magazine, a full page color ad about an aptitude test for childrens writing. They claim to teach you how to "crack the market" if they think you have the talent. Claims it's a free test and an into to a course. I'm feeling like I should be very very careful....

Writer's Block: Challenges I’ve Faced

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 01:54:33 GMT

What challenges in life have you conquered and emerged from a better person?

What's Up??

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 02:20:55 GMT

Hey, anyone still here? I've not been here for over a year. So much has happened...a divorce, move back home, then both my parents passed away within six months of each other. Dealing with the estate and the sale of the house, not to mention the grief, has consumed me. Went to Idaho Falls two months after my dad passed away, spent time with family out there and they treated me to a much needed rest. Then threw myself into work and a ton of classes offered at the hospital I work, now I'm super exhausted and super drained. After these classes I plan on taking writing and photography classes, maybe even some art classes and another trip to Idaho, maybe California~family there too. So how y'all been? Whatcha been writing?

Cheers!

Catching up...

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 02:53:08 GMT

Wow! It's been too long since I have been here! But here is the latest:
*Still working on the new place, bedroom is painted and the bath is almost painted.
*Got a price from a floor guy! GEEZ! Wasn't expecting that! Floors may have to wait.
*Jewelry sales are starting off slow but I have 6 showings lined up by the end of AUg.
*Decided I was NOT happy with "Coming Home" so I changed a few things.
*Had a "Steven King" dream the other night! Freaked me out BIG TIME! But I wrote it down anyway. Maybe someday in the distant future I'll try writing something scary!!
*Always wanted to breed dogs but could never figure the breed that I thought would be the best! After having Jack, I now know it's the Bichon-Poo! They make awesome family pets and they are very intellegent. At least 4 of my friends have already adopted one because of Jack. So, I'm looking for bichon breeders in the area. My plan is to get a male and "stud" him out while I learn about the female part of the breeding.
*I am having the best time being with my family, the grandbabies, and my friends!!
*New job is great!
*Get my internet hooked up tomorrow so I can stop bugging everyone to use theirs!
*And, the "Coastal Living" magazine thing fell through! Damn!

Cheers everyone!

A more positive life

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 04:16:49 GMT

I have been back home for about 3 months, And I'm having the best time of my life! My job is wonderful, my boss encourages me to grow and move on, and my co-workers are already like family. I just bought my condo and I'm doing the "fixing up" by my self...well most of it anyway! Thank goodness for HGTV! I'm getting back to some writing, just finished (finally) Coming Home, after a ton of revisions!!! I started a jewelry business and will soon try some other things that my husband wasn't supportive of.

And I have never, ever been this happy. Never had this kind of inner peace, calmness and happiness. I know it all has to do with my faith. I love this time in my life, my faith and my age has given me experiences to build on,and paths have been crossed that were meant to.

But most of all, I'm home with my family!

Cheers!

Back to the boat.....

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 04:10:01 GMT

About a year ago, I pitched a story idea to Coastal Living magazine about doing a story on our live-aboard life. They had just done a story on a retired couple living on their boat but traveing/cruising. My idea was to show that we used our boat like a house, we lived there, brought groceries home, picked up our mail at the marina, went to work everyday and did boatwork like housework. And of course I wanted to write it.

Well guess what...I just got an email, and they want to do the story. Great right! They want their own writer to do the story but the kicker is that I left my husband and the boat!!! We're getting divorced!!!

I took a chance and called him, and he was okay with the idea of putting up with each other for a day while they do the photo shoot.

I think I'm gonna go for it! What do you think?

Coming Home and Babbling

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 01:56:27 GMT

Hi! I moved back to Hanover, my hometown, on March 8th and started my new job on the 12th. I'm still living at my sons apartment and occasionally I'll stay at my daughters. Thats usually because I'm babysitting - and I love that!

I love being home but not happy about going through a 2nd divorce. I thought this marriage was a keeper, I thought he was my "soul-mate".

I have most of my stuff at sons apartment and lots in the car. A few things at a friends house and some photo's at my folks. All of my clothes are in various tote bags lined up along a wall and my shoes are in a bag in my car. God Bless my son, he did make room for me in the bathroom and he made space in a closet.

Thursday I put a contract on a condo and it was accepted but the entire contract rides on whether or not I recieve half of the settlement this week, so please say a prayer for me.

I sorted through all my picture book manusripts and have them organized and they are waiting patiently for me to re-visit them. I also have these incredible plans to start playing with my watercolors again. Maybe some will be half-way decent enough for me to hang in my new condo.

In other news...I didn't realize how much I missed "home". Home is where the heart is right? My heart will always be here. I was walking Jack one sunny afternoon and thats when it really hit me. I rushed home and wrote about it. Now I'm revising it and want to submit it to inspirational and women's magazines. Any ideas?

I'm trying to find the time to change my myspace page and add new pictures but that seems to be on the back burner. I don't have a computer yet so I usually just check email when I can sneak into someone's den.

My very dear friends are doing the doing the "Great Loop" by boat. They left Norfolk, VA and are heading north up the Chesapeake and Delaware Bay, into the Hudson and across to the Great Lakes, then south down the Mississippi, through the Gulf and around Florida and will end the trip back in Norfolk. I am so happy for them and proud that they can do the trip. Usually a year is planned but you can take as long as you wish.

I have babbled enough and the grandson is begging for my attention. I'm needed on the floor to play cars!

Cheers!

Upcoming Changes

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 00:09:04 GMT

Lots of good news!!! And new changes coming my way!!

Spouse and I are trying to keep separation/divorce friendly. I was just offered a job back home in Hanover and I accepted! Woo-Hoo! Not a job I would pursue, but it gets me home. Looking around for cheap but nice homes and found come really reasonable condo's. Daughter will be checking them out and emailing pic's. Spouse promised, yea I know, to make sure I would not be financially "cheated" so we'll see.

Son continues to improve from his accident.

Then planning to get back to some writing!

Look for some changes on my profile and soon new pictures!

Cheers!

Happy Valentine's Day

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 02:14:07 GMT

Hope you all have a great day! And for those of us that have no one to celebrate with...well...let'a go SHOPPING!!!

January Madness

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 16:57:03 GMT

I was hoping to start the new year jumping back into writing...but life is consuming me. I am spending my days and nights trying to find a job back home, packing things from the boat that I'm not currently using and working out legal stuff with spouse. We continue to live in the same BOAT, its working for now but I don't know how much longer it can stay civil.

It's quite difficult trying to think of cute little things to jot on paper about the ideas that WERE floating in my mind or from the notes of something already started. Revision on the old stuff, forget it!

I do spend time at the gym, praying a lot, and meeting friends as often as possible. When I can't look at this screen anymore or the frustration of job hunting gets me down, I either work on knitting a scarf or curl up in bed with a book.

Today I am meeting a great friend for lunch, then heading to a book store and if there is enough day light...off to the beach for a quick dipping of the toes in the sand and surf.

I try to stay up on your events, and it sounds as if you all are doing great!

Cheers!

PS: Buying clothes and shoes really helps!!!

Starting A New Year

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 17:54:56 GMT

Well, where do I begin. Spouse and I will be separating, my idea. I'll be moving home to PA and staying with my daughter for the time being. Spouse is convinced we are finished if I go to PA but I believe if we are meant to work things out, we will. The geograhphic distance shouldn't make a difference. Maybe I'm wrong, I just have faith.

What a way to start the New Year huh?! Was hoping to jump back into my PB's but I can't seem to do so. All my thoughts are on starting over...again. And at my age that is scarey! Another thought, should I change my title on LJ? These hazel eyes won't be touring the water anytime soon... I need to work on a list of resolutions or goals for my new year today.

Enough boo-hoo'ing for me!

My best wishes for all of you for a happy and healthy New Year! Keep up the good work,, you all are an inspiration to me!

Cheers!

Merry Christmas

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 03:23:55 GMT

Best wishes for a very Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy this special time with your loved ones as I.

Enjoy the laughter, the lights, the music, the peace, the food, and give of yourself to others as we are meant to do.

Merry Christmas to all!